ESL Jokes-3


Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the room.
The teacher says, “Why are you arguing?”

One boy answers, “We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.”

“You should be ashamed of yourselves,” said the teacher, “When I was your age I didn’t even know what a lie was.”

The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.

 

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ESL Jokes-2


A man goes to the doctor and says, “Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts.”
The doctor asks, “What do you mean?”
The man says, “When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee – OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts.”
The doctor says, “I know what’s wrong with you – you’ve broken your finger!”

ESL Jokes-1


The doctor to the patient: ‘You are very sick’
The patient to the doctor: ‘Can I get a second opinion?’
The doctor again: ‘Yes, you are very ugly too…’

Nasreddin Hodja


 

Nasreddin Hodja is one of the legendary wits of Turkish culture. He is believed to have lived around the time of Tamburlane, the crippled, while the Mongolian leader was ruling in Anatolia. His stories, the stories of what befall him rather, are some of
the most hilarious in the Turkish literature. Not only for children is it a great gift but for everyone who wants to ride into the Anatolian sense of humor full gallop.

 

One day Hodja was wandering in the marketplace, checking out the stands as he always did. On one of them, he noticed a different bird he had never seen in his life before.  A bird with strange colors. A merchant was shouting out its price.

   ” One hundred “.

One hundred for a bird !? Having been startled at the price of the bird, probably good for nothing as he thought,  Hodja rushed to his house and fetched his precious turkey over. Finding a place next to the man selling the bird, he began shouting out :

   ” Two hundred, two hundred for turkey”. People around him started to laugh. An ordinary bird like turkey could never go for a price like that.

   “But, he is selling that weird, useless one for one hundred “, Hodja tried to explain.

   “No!”, they said. ” it is a parrot “.

   ” Well, so what ? What does a parrot do ? ” asked Hodja.

   ” Don’t you know Hodja ” they replied all at once ” a parrot speaks “.

   Never have expected an answer like this, Hodja paused for a moment and as if  he wasn’t impressed at all and he went on

   ” If a parrot speaks, a turkey meditates “.